Thursday, March 31, 2011

We lost two VERY special people

It is so hard to imagine our lives moving forward; to a "new normal" if you must because a terrible tragedy struck our family March 7, 2011. A day that will never be forgotten; a day that changed us all forever; a day that took two precious people in our lives. We are comforted by our Father on a daily basis. He is our rock, He is our fortress, He is our strength when we couldn't possibly have anymore. He helps us rise in the morning and lay our heads at night. He is our Almighty, our ever present help in time of need. That is HIM! In Him alone we will battle through this as a family. You see Brittany and Shep touched many many lives through their incredibly short time here on earth. Brittany lived her life to the fullest and sweet little Shep was as content as could be following his sweet mommy. I remember the day Cole was born and Brittany, Clint and Tyson came to see us that night at the hospital. You could see in her eyes the adoration she had for our first born. Not long after that she became our Bit Bit and more recently Cole began calling her Aunt Brittany. We kept Honey and Monts on schedule with grandkids. Owen was 18 months after Cole and Shep followed 18 months after Owen. I kind of messed the next one up making Reese 11 months after Shep :) The night I went in to labor with Reese we talked back and forth. She wanted to know exactly what was going on; if and when she needed to come. After they broke my water she appeared with Honey and Monts. Never mind that it was already 8 o'clock at night and she would work the next day. She told me there was no way she was missing it. She was there for me; as a sister for me because none of mine could be there. See she did that for me often...she gave and sacrificed often for me and for my family. She loved my children as her own and for that I am forever grateful! Dax, the boys and I adored our sweet nephew Shep. We liked to call him Sheppy Shep since everyone in our family seems to get a nickname. We spent most Sunday lunches together at Honey and Monts and one of the last visions I have of Shep is him following Owen around. Owen had put on Brittany's shoes from church and was clonking around the kitchen and dining room. Shep followed close behind Owen and every time Owen stopped Shep would stop and stare at him. He had just started this; following every move Owen made. Cole treated Shep like another little brother. He was always very concerned about him often checking on him to make sure he was okay. When we told Cole and Owen about the accident and that Bit Bit and Shep were in heaven with Jesus Cole took it to heart. It was quite possibly the hardest thing Dax and I have ever experienced. Our little one's heart was so sad. He cried himself to sleep that night and Dax told him to pray; to ask God to give him strength to deal with this sad news. When I asked Cole why he was crying he proclaimed because I can't see Shep. Man, we will miss those Sundays with them. It was so nice to be able to call after work one day and say yall come for dinner. We enjoyed every time we were with them. We looked forward to other times with them too. We had already made our South Carolina trip plans, Opryland plans in December; plans on the boys being so close in high school and on and on. Just another reminder that His plans our not our plans nor His ways our ways. The night of the accident Dax went to Birmingham with his family while I stayed in Troy with our children; I didn't really have a choice. I would have given anything to go with them to see Shep one last time. I struggled with it for awhile until last night. I had a sweet dream; a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. You see, I dreamed that I got to hold my nephew one last time. It was great! I got to love on him and kiss those sweet cheeks one last time. I remember waking up to Dax's alarm this morning and wondering if I needed to write it down immediately because I don't ever remember my dreams. In fact, I had just talked with Kady, Tyson's girlfriend, about dreaming. We both wondered if we would dream about Brittany and Shep like others had and if we did what would they be about? I can honestly say that this has made an everlasting impact on so many. While we grieve with our lost we rejoice in our Savior for Brittany and Shep are in heaven. They are whole and not broken; they are worshiping our Savior constantly and filled with joy. A sweet smile comes across my face to think that Aunt Brittany met our little one that Dax and I lost before Cole was ever born. I can imagine her rocking our baby and Shep playing with his cousin just like he did here. We will forever remember them and our time together and forever remind our children of who they were. We will miss them dearly but we will forever be changed by them.


7 comments:

Bragans said...

Holly, I am crying sitting here. Beautifully written and I can't imagine the grief and pain. I am amazed by you and Dax and the strength you have to endure the toughest of times. Truly, I am blessed to have you as my sister. I love and adore you and I want you to know that and how much respect I hav for you. I wish I was a little more like you. Praying for all of your hearts to heal and have HOPE. Love you!

Jennifer said...

Beautifully written. Our whole family continues to pray for you and your family daily. They continue to have an impact on so many.

The Reeves Family said...

I am crying too, that was just beautiful. I am reading Heaven is for Real right now and I constantly think about Brittany and Shep. I think through all this I finally have a calm about the fact that one day I won't be here on Earth and that it is okay for life to go without me because my life will continue in a new way with Jesus and all of my loved ones that have gone before me!
You are all in my prayers and we love you guys!!

Kady Marie Edwards said...

Holly, this is PERFECT! I am glad to see that you updated on here and I was glad to see what it was about. I am so glad to have you during this time! You are a blessing to me everyday! LOVE YOU

amy (metz) walker said...

I don't know how I came across your blog but I literally have tears POURING down my face for the loss that your family has suffered. While I can't pretend to understand nor do I have any sufficient words or condolences, I simply just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what you have/are suffering. You are in my prayers...

Katie said...

that was precious. i pray for you all day and night. especially as i rock ellyotte to sleep at night - i think of brittany and how much she adored shep. in a strange way, i am grateful they are together but am heartbroken along with and FOR you all. our time on this earth is fleeting; i can only pray we are all remembered as brittany and shep are being remembered. thank you, holly, for posting this. i was waiting to 'hear' from you following the tragedy. stay strong sister. love, katie

The McCullough Family said...

Holly, I am still so brokenhearted for you and your family and continue to lift you up in my prayers every single day. The pictures of Shep and the boys are precious. I know that you already know this, but this tragedy has forever changed me. I am inspired by your families incredible strength and unwavering faith. Continuing to pray...love to you all.