It is so hard to imagine our lives moving forward; to a "new normal" if you must because a terrible tragedy struck our family March 7, 2011. A day that will never be forgotten; a day that changed us all forever; a day that took two precious people in our lives. We are comforted by our Father on a daily basis. He is our rock, He is our fortress, He is our strength when we couldn't possibly have anymore. He helps us rise in the morning and lay our heads at night. He is our Almighty, our ever present help in time of need. That is HIM! In Him alone we will battle through this as a family. You see Brittany and Shep touched many many lives through their incredibly short time here on earth. Brittany lived her life to the fullest and sweet little Shep was as content as could be following his sweet mommy. I remember the day Cole was born and Brittany, Clint and Tyson came to see us that night at the hospital. You could see in her eyes the adoration she had for our first born. Not long after that she became our Bit Bit and more recently Cole began calling her Aunt Brittany. We kept Honey and
Monts on schedule with
grandkids. Owen was 18 months after Cole and Shep followed 18 months after Owen. I kind of messed the next one up making Reese 11 months after Shep :) The night I went in to labor with Reese we talked back and forth. She wanted to know exactly what was going on; if and when she needed to come. After they broke my water she appeared with Honey and
Monts. Never mind that it was already 8 o'clock at night and she would work the next day. She told me there was no way she was missing it. She was there for me; as a sister for me because none of mine could be there. See she did that for me often...she gave and sacrificed often for me and for my family. She loved my children as her own and for that I am forever grateful!
Dax, the boys and I adored our sweet nephew Shep. We liked to call him
Sheppy Shep since everyone in our family seems to get a
nickname. We spent most Sunday lunches together at Honey and
Monts and one of the last visions I have of Shep is him following Owen around. Owen had put on Brittany's shoes from church and was clonking around the kitchen and dining room. Shep followed close behind Owen and
every time Owen stopped Shep would stop and stare at him. He had just started this; following every move Owen made. Cole treated Shep like another little brother. He was always very concerned about him often checking on him to make sure he was okay. When we told Cole and Owen about the accident and that Bit Bit and Shep were in heaven with Jesus Cole took it to heart. It was quite possibly the hardest thing Dax and I have ever experienced. Our little one's heart was so sad. He cried himself to sleep that night and Dax told him to pray; to ask God to give him strength to deal with this sad news. When I asked Cole why he was crying he proclaimed because I can't see Shep. Man, we will miss those Sundays with them. It was so nice to be able to call after work one day and say
yall come for dinner. We enjoyed
every time we were with them. We looked forward to other times with them too. We had already made our South Carolina trip plans,
Opryland plans in December; plans on the boys being so close in high school and on and on. Just another reminder that His plans our not our plans nor His ways our ways. The night of the accident
Dax went to
Birmingham with his family while I stayed in Troy with our children; I didn't really have a choice. I would have given anything to go with them to see Shep one last time. I struggled with it for awhile until last night. I had a sweet dream; a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. You see, I dreamed that I got to hold my nephew one last time. It was great! I got to love on him and kiss those sweet cheeks one last time. I remember waking up to
Dax's alarm this morning and wondering if I needed to write it down immediately because I don't ever remember my dreams. In fact, I had just talked with
Kady, Tyson's girlfriend, about dreaming. We both wondered if we would dream about Brittany and Shep like others had and if we did what would they be about? I can honestly say that this has made an everlasting impact on so many. While we grieve with our lost we rejoice in our Savior for Brittany and Shep are in heaven. They are whole and not broken; they are worshiping our Savior constantly and filled with joy. A sweet smile comes across my face to think that Aunt Brittany met our little one that
Dax and I lost before Cole was ever born. I can imagine her rocking our baby and Shep playing with his cousin just like he did here. We will forever remember them and our time together and forever remind our children of who they were. We will miss them dearly but we will forever be changed by them.
Reese has become a thumb sucker. Not that I expected anything less since Dax and I both were thumb suckers. She will still use her pappy but buddy if it comes out the thumb goes in and she goes to town. You know you must need it when you have to hold it in your mouth with your other hand. She is growing so quickly. I have missed monthly posts because I am not very good at this blog thing but I will try to keep up for my memory sake. She will be four months soon and we head back to the doctor for a check-up. I will post after that. 
